Hospital Birth - The Bradley Method
I took her advice and looked for the nearest Bradley instructors, I found them online on the Bradley website and was excited to share this special class with my husband. Our instructors were Kim & Bruce Clash, they were wonderful and my friend was right about how well the Bradley instructors explain the different stages of labor. There are three stages of labor. The first stage is early labor, active labor and transition. Then the second stage is the pushing and delivering of the baby. The third stage is the delivery of the placenta. They especially helped us understand the moment of transition. They said that during transition, the mother might feel discouraged, like she can no longer get through the labor, but that actually it is the best part of the labor because that means that the moment of pushing and delivering the baby is very close. This is the moment when many women who want to have a natural childbirth often times feel discouraged and it is especially important to have someone there to tell her that she can do it, that she is strong, that it is almost over and soon she will be holding her precious child in her arms. It is so, so important for women to be encouraged during transition, to be present there for them so that they can get through that most difficult time. Usually, if women take pain medication, the birthing process is interrupted and it starts to slow down, so the labors end up being longer. It might also slow down the baby's respiration, the baby could be in distress, there are more chances for medical interventions and for the delivery to end up being a C-section.
When I was pregnant with my first born daughter, a fellow nurse and friend recommended that my husband and I attend Bradley Childbirth classes. She told me that she had attended Bradley classes, also known as Husband Coached Labor, with her husband during her pregnancy and that it was very helpful for both of them during the labor and delivery of her child. She said that even though they teach us all about the process of labor in nursing school, that she really liked how the Bradley method teachers explained the different stages of labor and that she really understood it so much better after the classes.
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I wanted to have a home birth with my first born daughter. My husband was born at home with the assistance of a midwife (my mother-in-law delivered a breech baby, twins and my husband all at home) and my mother delivered me naturally with no medical intervention or pain medicine at a hospital. My husband was very nervous about having our daughter at home, he worried about living so far away from a hospital and not having medical attention if we needed it. He had attended two "emergency" births when he was a police officer, and he had been trained on what to do, but for him it was different since it was his daughter and more emotionally attached. So I agreed to have the baby at the hospital.
My first born daughter
was due to arrive on December 22. I kept on telling everyone that she was
not going to be born on her due date because only about 5% of babies arrive on
their due date since it only an estimated delivery date. I was scheduled to
work up to a day before her due date. I was a little worried that my maternity
leave would be shortened by her arriving later than her due date, but other
than that I was not worried at all. It was perfectly OK with me that she would arrive
whenever she was ready to.
Four days before the due date, I went to see my Nurse Practitioner
and she told me that I was 3-4 cm dilated. When I went to work the following
days, my coworkers were concerned that I was there working and joked around
saying that I would have my baby any minute and that they would have to deliver the baby there. I had Braxton-Hicks contractions
since I was 7 months pregnant and I really could not tell the difference of
what real contractions were since I had never had a baby before. Three days before the due date, I had
contractions 5-10 minutes apart.
A night two days before the due date, I was slowly passing
out meds wobbling from room to room and a fellow nurse asked me if I was OK,
I said yes, just that all the heaviness and contractions slowed me down. I went
on my dinner break and started timing my contractions, they were continuously 5
minutes apart, so I started getting concerned. On my way back I asked my
nursing supervisor if I could leave an hour early once I got done with all the
paperwork because I was concerned about how close and steady my contractions
were, and that I would not be coming in the next day to work. She said that of course I could
leave early and that they would get someone to cover for me for the next day. Once I was done
with my work I said farewell to my coworkers knowing that it would probably be a while
until I saw them again. They wished me luck and were concerned about me
driving home since I had about an hour drive home. I was not worried, and I
knew that I would make it, and if not, I could always call my husband on the cell
phone for him to meet me if there was a need for me to stop on my way home.
I safely arrived home and nothing happened that night. The next day I just took it easy at home, timed my contractions once in a while and wrote them down to see a pattern, they ranged from 5-10 minutes apart. All of the sudden I wanted to rearrange our bedroom, so with the help with of my husband, Juan Carlos, everything was moved the way I wanted it to be and the baby's bedside co-sleeper was just in a perfect and right cozy corner in the room. It made me feel so good, and then I realized that I intuitively placed the bedside co-sleeper in the children's area in Feng Shui. I thought to myself that now the baby is ready to come since the nest is ready.
That night one of my dogs just kept on looking at me and was acting strange, he would not go to sleep and it was like he was watching over me and that he knew that the baby was coming. In our Bradley classes our instructors told us that their dog knew ahead of time that the mother was in labor and I wondered if our dogs or cats would also let me know beforehand. My dog Shanti really made me wonder and feel that the baby was coming but then I thought, oh there is no way since the average gestation period is 41 weeks and a day, so there is no way that the baby is coming on her due date.
I went to sleep around midnight and woke up at 4 a.m. with a strange feeling, went to the bathroom and back to
bed. I felt like I was in labor and that the baby was coming. I thought I would not wake my husband up unless I had any real strong pain. So I let him sleep because if I
was truly in labor he would need the rest since who knows how many hours I would be in labor. Then around 5 a.m. I started having very strong
contractions, they were painful, nothing like the ones I had before, so I woke
up Juan Carlos and told him that I thought that the baby was coming. He jumped out
of bed and started getting everything ready to go to the hospital and taking
care of the cats, dogs and fish. As he ran around doing everything I got
dressed went to the living room and each time I would have a contraction I
would fall on my knees from the pain. My dog Shanti faithfully and firmly stood by me as I knelt on the floor and each time I had a contraction I
would wrap my arms around his strong neck. He was a Rottweiler Husky mix, very
strong and his presence calmed me.
On the way to the
hospital, I took a pillow along with me in the car, and each time I had a
contraction I would hug the pillow with all my strenght for comfort. We had a
45 minute ride and by the time we got there it was 7 a.m. We entered by the
ER and transportation was called to take me to the Labor & Delivery floor.
Juan Carlos went to the car to get my yoga ball and suitcase. When he rushed
back in, transportation arrived and they refused to take me in the elevator
alone because they were afraid I would have the baby there. I kind of laughed
at seeing the transportation man’s fear in his eyes. One of the ER nurses
agreed to go up with us.
As we entered the Labor & Delivery area, I felt
comfortable because I knew the floor, I had my nursing clinicals there and had
recently been a labor support for one of my close friends there. In our room I was
instructed to wear a hospital gown and that they would be back to check on me.
I packed one of my own nightgowns for the occasion, so I slipped that on
and just tried to overcome the pain by taking deep breaths and relaxing my muscles during the contractions, which were 3-5 minutes apart.
The midwife came in and we gave her a copy of our birth plan, she agreed on
everything, except that she said we were not allowed to take the placenta
home. It was frustrating and upsetting, but she said that if we wanted to we
had to plan that in advance through a lawyer’s petition to the hospital and have legal documentation to take the placenta with us. We thought how bizarre that was since it is part of my body, so how could they own it like that? However, we already knew that hospitals make big
business selling placentas to cosmetic companies. So we were in no circumstance to make a big deal about it then, so we just moved on.
The nurse came in, took my vitals, checked the baby’s heart
rate, and started asking me questions. It was kind of annoying because between
every contraction she would ask me something to write in the computer and I
just wanted to be able to rest and relax between the pain. We had registered at
the hospital ahead of time, but she was asking all the questions and
information we gave them before hand. It really started annoying me and I kept
on asking her to give me a break. In a way it was like she wanted to avoid
being present during the labor. When she went on her lunch break, another nurse
came in to cover for her and she was wonderful, calm, present, encouraging and loving.
She held my hand during the contractions and her energy was supportive, but that
didn’t last long because then I got my nurse back.
I told Juan Carlos ahead
of time that I did not want to tell any of our friends and family the moment when I was in labor as to avoid
being asked: is the baby there yet? and avoid being stressed out by people’s
inquiries. The pain was so overwhelming that I needed to talk to my
mom and grandma, so Juan Carlos called both of them. As I talked to each one of them in
tears, they both reassured me that everything would be OK and that they were on
their way. Then we called our friend Sumathi and she asked me if I wanted
her to be there and I said yes.
Juan Carlos gave
me so much strength, kindness, love and support. I would not let him leave my side. He was like my hostage during labor because I would just grab on to him during the contractions to get through the pain and he was not allowed to leave me. I moved around
as much as I could to get the baby moving and labor progressing. I walked back and
forth in the room, but each time I would have a contraction I would fall on my
knees on to the floor and the nurse and midwife would flip out saying that we do
not have babies on the floor. I would think to myself I will have my baby
wherever I want to. I was on my hands and knees on the bed, rocking back and
forth, changing from side to side, doing whatever I could to move. Juan Carlos assisted me in changing positions, gave me sips of vitamin water, and held me during the contractions.
I started leaking amniotic fluid around 11 a.m. When I
arrived at the hospital I was 6 cm dilated, about 4 hours later I was 8 cm dilated and the midwife thought I was not progressing fast enough, she tried to
break my bag of waters without us knowing and when Juan Carlos and I both saw her with the amniotic hook, we got really defensive and she did not get a chance to do it. We said: “What
are you doing?” and then she said: “Oh, I see who is in charge.” Yeah, I am
in charge because it is my body, my baby, my choice and I am the one giving
birth! Nobody progresses exactly by the book, we knew that, I was fine, the
baby was fine, and we did not need any intervention for something that is so
natural.
Around noon I felt like I could no longer bear the pain and understood why women surrender to receive pain medication. I told everyone I just could not do it, it was too painful. Juan Carlos encouraged me saying you can do it, you are strong, but I was so overwhelmed. Then the midwife intervened and offered me all kinds of pain meds, I started wondering if maybe I should take something, even thought my goal was to have a natural birth. Juan Carlos told the midwife that I did not want any pain medication, the midwife said to him sternly and in a very rude manner: "I am talking to her! not to you and it is her choice if she wants to take medication!" In my birth plan I had asked them not to offer me any pain medication. I am glad Juan Carlos stood up for me in that moment of weakness and we were both shocked at how rude the midwife was. Luckily, my friend Sumathi arrived then, with her daughter Lekha who had just arrived from med school. It was a blessing to have them present because I felt more support with them and they kindly and lovingly encouraged me, along with Juan Carlos, that I could do it, that I could deliver the baby naturally. They also brought a wonderful spiritual presence to the event with Sumahti saying prayers as I gave birth.
I thought about how my mom delivered me naturally, my grandmothers, my friends and countless other women that birthed their children naturally. I asked Sumathi: "How did you do it, it is so painful!" She said: "Monica, you'll get through it and you won't even remember the pain, we just do it."
I am not sure how long I pushed, it was somewhere between an hour to a half an hour, I am not sure, I was not watching the clock, I was just trying to get through it. Once I started pushing there was a sense of relief. At first I thought I was not prepared on knowing when to push, but when I felt the sensation I just knew. Everyone was so excited about the baby crowning that they would forget about me because they wanted to see the baby. I needed someone's support during the contractions so I would say: "Hey, someone hold on to me, it's fine if you look at the baby, but someone remember to help me!" They would laugh and then take turns watching and holding on to me. I felt a burning pain and the baby was so close to coming out, the midwife asked me if I wanted to touch her head, I said no, I just wanted to keep on pushing to get her out.
Emma Sophia was born on December 22, 2008 at 2:22 p.m. 9 lbs. 14 oz. and 20 in.
She rapidly came out into my arms on her due date. We were extremely blissful and words cannot describe the joy and love felt for a child being born. It is such an amazing spiritual moment that time stands still. I placed her immediately at the breast, she was grunting a bit, so the nurse suctioned her and then she latched on right away. After the umbilical cord stopped pulsating, it was cut by Juan Carlos.
Her proud and amazed dad followed her while she got weighed and my friends stood by me as I passed the placenta. The midwife was a bit impatient and pulled the cord to bring out the placenta, Juan Carlos said: "What are you doing?" and she stopped. After passing the placenta, the midwife said I hemorrhaged about 500 ml and she gave me a few stitches for a second degree tear.
The midwife asked if we attended childbirth preparation classes. We said yes, that we took Bradley classes. The classes are really helpful. They prepared us on what to expect and assisted us in our decision on having a natural childbirth.
The nurse that transferred us from the labor and delivery floor to the postpartum unit told us how impressed she was that I birthed Emma naturally and that in all the years that she had worked there as a nurse she could count with both hands how many Mamas delivered that way and that I was one of the few. She made me feel good about our accomplishment.
My grandma and later my mom arrived to meet Emma. My mom spent the night with us at the hospital so that Juan Carlos could go home, take care of the animals and get some sleep. I had Emma stay in the room with me the whole time, there was no way that I would be separated from my baby, not even an instant! I remember reading in Husband-Coached Childbirth by Dr. Bradley about not separating newborn animals from their mothers, and so why would they do it to humans?
I was so ready to get out of the hospital that during morning rounds I asked the midwife if I could go home. She said that there was no problem with me going home since I was perfectly healthy and just to check with the pediatrician so that we could both be discharged. The pediatrician did not want Emma to leave because she said she was a bit jaundiced. She really wasn't, I told her that she wasn't and that it is just her natural skin tone. So we were discharged and I was joyous to go home with my sweet adorable Emma.
To read about our home birth, click here: Home Birth
Around noon I felt like I could no longer bear the pain and understood why women surrender to receive pain medication. I told everyone I just could not do it, it was too painful. Juan Carlos encouraged me saying you can do it, you are strong, but I was so overwhelmed. Then the midwife intervened and offered me all kinds of pain meds, I started wondering if maybe I should take something, even thought my goal was to have a natural birth. Juan Carlos told the midwife that I did not want any pain medication, the midwife said to him sternly and in a very rude manner: "I am talking to her! not to you and it is her choice if she wants to take medication!" In my birth plan I had asked them not to offer me any pain medication. I am glad Juan Carlos stood up for me in that moment of weakness and we were both shocked at how rude the midwife was. Luckily, my friend Sumathi arrived then, with her daughter Lekha who had just arrived from med school. It was a blessing to have them present because I felt more support with them and they kindly and lovingly encouraged me, along with Juan Carlos, that I could do it, that I could deliver the baby naturally. They also brought a wonderful spiritual presence to the event with Sumahti saying prayers as I gave birth.
I thought about how my mom delivered me naturally, my grandmothers, my friends and countless other women that birthed their children naturally. I asked Sumathi: "How did you do it, it is so painful!" She said: "Monica, you'll get through it and you won't even remember the pain, we just do it."
I am not sure how long I pushed, it was somewhere between an hour to a half an hour, I am not sure, I was not watching the clock, I was just trying to get through it. Once I started pushing there was a sense of relief. At first I thought I was not prepared on knowing when to push, but when I felt the sensation I just knew. Everyone was so excited about the baby crowning that they would forget about me because they wanted to see the baby. I needed someone's support during the contractions so I would say: "Hey, someone hold on to me, it's fine if you look at the baby, but someone remember to help me!" They would laugh and then take turns watching and holding on to me. I felt a burning pain and the baby was so close to coming out, the midwife asked me if I wanted to touch her head, I said no, I just wanted to keep on pushing to get her out.
Emma Sophia was born on December 22, 2008 at 2:22 p.m. 9 lbs. 14 oz. and 20 in.
Her proud and amazed dad followed her while she got weighed and my friends stood by me as I passed the placenta. The midwife was a bit impatient and pulled the cord to bring out the placenta, Juan Carlos said: "What are you doing?" and she stopped. After passing the placenta, the midwife said I hemorrhaged about 500 ml and she gave me a few stitches for a second degree tear.
The midwife asked if we attended childbirth preparation classes. We said yes, that we took Bradley classes. The classes are really helpful. They prepared us on what to expect and assisted us in our decision on having a natural childbirth.
The nurse that transferred us from the labor and delivery floor to the postpartum unit told us how impressed she was that I birthed Emma naturally and that in all the years that she had worked there as a nurse she could count with both hands how many Mamas delivered that way and that I was one of the few. She made me feel good about our accomplishment.
My grandma and later my mom arrived to meet Emma. My mom spent the night with us at the hospital so that Juan Carlos could go home, take care of the animals and get some sleep. I had Emma stay in the room with me the whole time, there was no way that I would be separated from my baby, not even an instant! I remember reading in Husband-Coached Childbirth by Dr. Bradley about not separating newborn animals from their mothers, and so why would they do it to humans?
I was so ready to get out of the hospital that during morning rounds I asked the midwife if I could go home. She said that there was no problem with me going home since I was perfectly healthy and just to check with the pediatrician so that we could both be discharged. The pediatrician did not want Emma to leave because she said she was a bit jaundiced. She really wasn't, I told her that she wasn't and that it is just her natural skin tone. So we were discharged and I was joyous to go home with my sweet adorable Emma.
To read about our home birth, click here: Home Birth
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